THE WARDROBE IS FINISHED!

Yay!

I saw this flick on the plane - easy enough to watch (when stuck on a plane & 3 glasses of champers in) but there was an exchange that almost made me spit.

Tom: You don’t want to be named as someone’s boyfriend, and now your someone’s wife?
Summer: Surprised me too.
T: I don't think I'll ever understand that. I mean it doesn't make sense.


To quote a certain Mr Bale - What don't you f**king understand?


Relationship status used to be defined only a couple of decades ago as 'Married' or 'Single'. It is for most legal purposes still the only boxes one can tick on forms.

Speaking as someone who has had the relationship experiences of being a serial monogamist, a satisfied singleton and now a fun-loving fiancee, why commit to one person before you know that they are in the right headspace/time in their life to want to commit themselves similarly to you*?


*assuming one wishes to be committed, that is.

Although if it continues to p*ss down raining all day like it did last night, there is a real chance I won't make it out of the driveway.

The creek is about to flood its banks.....hopefully it won't lift the bridge this time!

Souls are complex, multifaceted things and to think there is only ONE similar one to your own in all the world would be very limiting. I think there are possibly quite a few soulmates for a person - and gender or sexual orientation is not a factor.

The first person I met who I recall thinking at the time would heavily influence (& be a part of) my life grew up to be a wonderful man who also crossed the world to bring me a diamond so no, I don't worry ever that the most fun one got away.

As created by Josh, Arna, Amanda & Ewan

Here are the ones Josh posted in 2006 - there are others going back to 2001 online but seem to be far too American for my taste (involving Civil War memorabilia, etcetra).

•A translation is given for the Asian language read from the bottom of porcelain.
•Polite British surprise expressed a la C3PO. (Polite swearing = 2 drinks)
•Open disagreement over valuation.
•Oiks with highly expensive items. (Scousers = 2 drinks)
•Extreme accents that are hard to follow (except Welsh).
•Annoying laugh.
•Served royalty.
•Item bought by a relative who was a sailor (excluding scrimshaw).
•Bought in a car boot sale.
•"That's interesting, I have another at home."
•Pre-1500 (except Peruvian).
•A personal letter to that person as a child from A.A. Milne, Beatrix Potter, or E.H. Shepard.
•Iconic U.S. toy made in Germany.
•"Did you play with it as a child?"
•Object irretrievably damaged by owner through stupidity.

That which is lightly won is lightly regarded.

That which is lightly regarded is easily discarded.

Today I heard hooves outside the window & looked out to see one of these going past;





I went out of the house to have a proper look while the funeral director at the end of the street loaded it up with a coffin & a flower arrangement reading 'NAN'. Also to pull a 'Gosh, aren't you a c**t' face at the arsehole who pulled up behind the procession in a shitty car & beeped his horn repeatedly.

Tomorrow bring picnic in Hampstead Heath, a marilyn manson cover band at Electrowerks and on sunday we hit Brighton vs Banksy.

Good grief. I know many talented artists who actually produce decent work which deserves to be exhibited.


But instead, Monochrome Till Receipt (White), by Ceal Floyer, is one of the gallery's latest acquisitions going on display in a new exhibition.

Floyer describes the work as a modern still life where objects are imagined but not shown.

This is the first time the public has had the chance to see it- and conjure up its 40-odd items, all of which are white.

Visitors to the gallery can meditate on the beauty of boil-in-the-bag rice (£1.77), Sensodyne toothpaste (£2.40), and swing-bin liners (£1.69).

Under the terms laid down by Floyer, the work requires a new receipt - and therefore a shopping trip - each time it is shown.

Curator Andrew Wilson initially went to Sainsbury's - but screwed up the receipt when he realised it was an environmentally-friendly list printed on both sides of the paper, preventing spectators from seeing all the items.

Mr Wilson, who bought the groceries with his own cash and took them home, said: "It's like an imaginative leap of faith from the daily drudge of going to the supermarket to the idea of the domestic still-life painting, but also with the supposed purity of Modernist monochrome abstract painting."

Three years ago the work was given an estimated price of £30,000. Tate bought it this year for a sum it will reveal only in its next annual report.

Previous work by Floyer includes a black bin bag filled with air and beer mats propping up wobbly tables.


If you truly want to meditate on the beauty of grocery products, I recommend spending a recession-busting £10 (less than 1/1000th of the price!) on getting throughly stoned/baked before doing the weekly shop.

Courtesy of digitalangel

https://www.tfl.gov.uk/tfl/tickets/refunds/industrialaction/default.aspx

"RMT Strike – Application for Goodwill Payment

If you hold a 7 Day or longer period Travelcard on Oyster purchased from a Transport for London outlet, and your normal tube journey of 10th and 11th of June was severely disrupted you can apply for a goodwill payment voucher which can be used for future travel. You do not need to wait until your current ticket has expired before submitting your claim.

If your ticket was valid for less than 7 days, or you are a pay as you go customer you are not eligible for a payment as sufficient notice of industrial action was given. "

Have a photograph of a FANTASTIC bed spotted on Edgeware Road this morning - the place is full of plush, ostentatious over-the-top 'french' furniture & chandeliers.




I love it.

What has 3 syllables and sounds like fun in the Camden Ballroom?

IN.FER.NO!





OBEY MY DOG!!

I want this!



Alternatively, I want an old dresser, a few spare hours & some paint!


In other news, a wonderful publication is in trouble - Save The Chap!

Yes. Yes I do.

Possibly even more so after seeing that episode of Maury where a woman still couldn't place her baby's daddy after DNA tests on 17 different men.

Seriously, 17!!

That would have had to have been within roughly a 1 month timeframe, yes?

How did she manage it?

You are already aware of the many reasons why everyone should be safe sex savvy and why the usual excuses (forgot/got carried away/am an idiot skank) only mark a person as being either stupid or......well, really, REALLY stupid with a nasty, potentially fatal, reminder of the fact.

That said, I am constantly suprised at the number of ladies who do not;

1. Carry condoms*; and

2. are completely confident with applying them.



I think putting them on orally is the best way - this introduces it as foreplay, removing the potentially awkward situation of having to 'ask' someone to wear one, it also avoids the passion killers that is watching a guy struggle with one & worrying that it is on correctly.

( Read more )

They are readily available - Boots Chemists often do 241 deals on Durex and (new) boxes of 100 are on Ebay for around £20.

Family Planning Association (Nz) and GUM Clinics (UK) I believe hand them out for free!

Wanna know what tastes like;

Griffins Cookie Bear Chocolate Chip Cookies





Marks & Spencers All Butter Chocolate Chunk Cookies!




AND THEY ARE BIGGER!!

Also, Twisties;





Cheesy Puffs!

Crampy, cranky, grizzly, fuzzy & sleepy - say Hi! to the PMS dwarves.

Had a rant off with my little sister and she got totally out-ranted.

She got rant-served.






Well not entirely, look at the roof, that's made from wank!

Plenty of the nearest & dearest seem to be well on the way to their happy places.

This makes me very happy!

20 minutes until weekend and counting!

Alright, who munted Last FM?

I purchased some new gym kit over teh internets.

A top & trousers arrived. I tried them on, ascertained that as soon as I bent over (as I would in pilates/stretching/yoga) the trousers became utterly see through. So I duly sent them back for a refund and informed the seller.

Seller got snarky & said that they don't know the meaning of transparent (erm...) and that the other purchasers are very happy.

And having flicked through the feedback, this seems to be the case.

Which leaves me thinking that;

a) I got the one set that was made of 95% thinner fabric than everyone else;

b) that every other purchaser is solely using it at home; or

c) they are total premature feedback leavers.

OR the disturbing -

D) That utterly transparent gym kit is the look they are going for.


I don't know about you, but when I am subjected to some stupid woman (sorry, but I have yet to see any guy commit this particular crime) with her inevitably old-grey-panted arse all hanging out or being painfully bisected via thong at the gym I quickly look away and try to comfort myself with the thought 'Poor silly cow, she doesn't know'.


Other gym related moment of 'ERk' today - woman standing bare arse naked and ranting away on her phone in the changeroom.

Sheesh lady, NO phone call is that important!





Do you or someone you know deliberately wear transparent gym kit? Why, in the name of all that is aethetically pleasing, why? If yes, please contact 0800-FFS-STOP-WEARING-THONGS-&WEAR-BOYLEG-PANTS-IN-A-SIMILAR-COLOUR.